A glimpse of the past

That we have come a long way, as parents that is, became evident to us last week when we had one of our friend and his family at home with us for a few days. Their two year old took us back in time when RRJ was that age. The time when I often wondered if I would ever be composed, calm and sane again. If I would ever be able to get up from sleep when I want to and not when I have to. If I would ever be able to complete a conversation and say a proper bye to people on phone before putting it down, or see RRJ in the vicinity of any milk product and not loose my mind. If I would ever be able to hear him cough and not worry about a wheezing attack and not be tense about every approaching meal time. If I would be be able to be in regular touch with my brothers and friends. If I would ever be able to take a step not worrying about what it would be up on, a toy on a good day and a bad day would be half spent trying to scrub of the smell only a two year old can produce. My vocabulary was rapidly reducing to the F word. F this, F that, depending on the strength of emotion I would mutter it under the breath or hiss it out, shout it aloud or if my memory serves me right there were a few occasions when I even sang it to a tune.

Then in the night when lights went out, I would sing 'ik din mit jayega matee ke mol, jag mein rah jayenge pyare tere bol' as a lullaby to RRJ and soothe my tired soul. A gentle reminder to myself to check on what I say. Little did I know, my little boy was listening to every bit of the song, not understanding a word but recording it like a tape recorder. It was such a delight to hear him sing......... Going through my digital records of those days, I rediscovered my delight last week.