Troubled waters

Our institute is at present having a fairly open and heated discussion on the policy that the hostels must have for the students who reside with in the campus. The institute being a residential one has a fairly large population of students and therefore having any new rule or getting rid of an existing one affects many. So far if you weren't part of the hostel administration you hardly got to know anything and it was all a large happy family in which the unhappiness was neither expressed loudly nor was it given much importance. The administrators decided based on what they felt was the right thing to do and others had very little choice in the matter but to follow as told because it was all for their good. From the sequence of recent events it seems like the turning point was the idea of having an open discussion between students and the wardens of these hostels where the students reside

• big question was asked in the open forum "I am 21, what is your problem if I am having sex with my girl friend or whoever in my room?"
• then there was a spate of emails between the wardens lamenting the generation gap, the callous parenting which hasn't conveyed the value of touching feet of elders to their children, the student's demand for privacy, the students wanting to do whatever they want, the fraction of students having the risk-taking behaviour reaching critical limits, the possibility of students talking about alternate sexual preferences, the audacity of students to ask questions in an open forum etc. etc.
• next the email-thread gets leaked to the national newspaper and makes headlines
• this preempts the disclosure of the content of the emails by one of the wardens to all within the institute and with in minutes the inbox was flooded with reactions and reactions to reactions.

These discussions often bring out so much about people especially when they are in a position to control. In the name of feeling responsible, it is so hard to not want to impose your own moral value system and accept that it doesn't mean anything to others. And it is so easy to dismiss others concerns and decide what is good for them.

In all this, it is totally understood that to run a system, in this case the hostels, you do need a set of rules which by and large should ensure safety, hygiene, reasonable food and an ambiance where people with diverse interests can co-exist. But beyond that any policing in relation to personal conduct seems rather oppressive. What students do is their responsibility and if we fear the worst all that we can do is to make them aware  of the possible consequences that bother us. I think most of us are hard-wired to protect self-interest, and this instinct needs regular tuning by facing the consequences of what we do or what we don't. Over protection or over control by others, I feel, can often lead to either suppression of that rather vital instinct or an all out rebellion.