Magically ours

The doctors sometimes touch on topics they rather not. RRJ and I were about done with our visit to the paediatrician which was largely spent discussing about the frequency of his vomits and colour of his potty and how I should collect some of it and rush to the labs with in half and hour or keep it in the fridge (!!) if we can't make it to the lab etc. when the doctor shifted her focus from RRJ to me. "So what about you, have you thought about a second child?" Of course we have thought about it and in a how-impossible-it-would-be kind of way. So I told her just that. "Don't do the mistake I did", "You had another one?" "No I didn't". It was rush hour in the clinic and we had to give way to the next patient so I couldn't really see if she winked after saying that or she really meant it.

I am sure what followed next happens to all parents and I am quite definite that they all are as unprepared as I was. So on our way back on scooter, RRJ was sitting in front of me, I was doing the breathing exercise I recently learned from a friend and there was a general lull in conversation as we scootered along.
"Amma, how did I suddenly come, was it like a magic?"
"Magic meaning?" Amma trying to buy some time there.
"You told I was born in 2005 and I was not there before, how did I come suddenly?"
"Haaan.... that? You came from my tummy?"
"Are you lying?" in a very stern voice.
"No I am not" Amma breaks in to a nervous giggle.
"Then how did I come in your tummy? Magically?"
Amma starts to laugh now, even though she does not like to laugh at people when they are not trying to be funny.
"Well, it was almost a magic"
"You are not telling me properly"
Amma parking the scooter,"so will you take medicine before or after the dosa?" Long live the art of distraction which again is something Amma is not too comfortable using. Clearly Amma needs to have a relook at her list of dislikes, there are far too many in there.

Please make me cry

Seeing Sandra Bullock in news for her win at Oscars followed by troubled relations with husband, I was reminded of her movie that I saw during my student days: Hope Floats. While it is rated to be a very average movie, I absolutely loved it. And I seriously think I liked it so much at that time because it gave me a chance to cry when I was in desperate need of one.

Perhaps it is ironic but to be happy, energetic, blissful and not too touchy what I need is a hearty weep on a regular basis. Works like magic. Not only the tear ducts get a thorough cleaning, but more importantly it acts like a cleanser for my soul, clears out all the clogged emotions specially the negative ones and restores general well being like nothing else. But the thing with things that you want to cry about is that they can happen any time, they don't wait when you have the essentials like time and the privacy. Growing up you get to know that at such times all that you can do is to shrug it off. The little snub that was so unexpected, or the insult that went through your heart, the rude/ nasty others or the rude/nasty yourself and sadness of all kinds. While one would like to shed a tear or more for each, but it is never an appropriate time. It all kind of adds up and multiplies in the look out for a trigger. If people around me are lucky then I catch a movie before I catch them. A movie which creates those moments which tug at my heart, tug it strong enough to open up that fat and big bundle that lies somewhere deep inside. That bundle which needs to be cleared every now and then for me to regain my ability to take things in stride, be sporting, be hopeful and start off all over again.

Dangling conversations

“What a day,” husband said to his wife as they happened to reach home at the same time from their respective battlegrounds that people usually refer to as offices. Wife had kind of guessed, that frown, you can’t mistake it for anything else. Their four year old child though seemed to have had a better day at day care than usual as he walked ahead chirping, “bhaiya, aal izz well”. Good, at least the family was doing a good average. As they walked up the two flight of stairs “I just can’t understand, how can people be so unreasonable?” Wife tried to listen carefully, she was pretty tired herself as she had a two hour class in the afternoon. Which was good in a way as she was more inclined to listen than speak, an absolute rarity of an event. The details poured in, the careful listening continued and the frown kept growing in stature.

The wife being the ranting kind of the two and completely challenged in the skill that most human beings seemed to be blessed with, that of empathetic listening, tried her best to keep quiet a little longer while her mind frantically searched for an appropriate response. Boom! Before she knew she had already launched into her usual response to any such situation, which is, how the husband could have handled it all so much better, what he could have said and what he shouldn’t have and all in all how it was he who is responsible for his present state of frustration. Points must be awarded to the husband though, in spite of all these good 15 years or so of togetherness and knowing each other he still manages to look completely taken aback by her responses. He regained his senses and muttered, “ can’t even tell anything without getting some expert advice.” And the frown, oh my! Wife knew her exit line “ time for me to run”. Off she went to the stadium and on her way urged herself to run a few extra rounds. Now here we use the term ‘running’ pretty loosely but then it is a free world and the wife has every right to choose the pace she wishes to and call it running if she wishes to. We will go by her word on that. If she had run x rounds last week then this week she completely outdid herself by running 2x rounds. And those of you who are the curious and suspecting variety, no x was not zero, nowhere near zero. By the end of all the running rounds, the two-hour class was ancient history, the blunder was modern history while the present looked like full of fresh possibilities as she headed home.

Taking off her shoes sitting next to the husband she peeked into the cryptic crossword the husband was trying, looking still quite cross. Aah the wife could spot one anagram. Phew! Frown relaxed a little and husband was glad to start all over again. Blah blah……he went and the wife listened, this time completely done with 2x rounds she managed to remain you know what. Then he ended it all with “……what is one supposed to do?” There was a pause. “Do you want me to answer that?” The husband stared in disbelief yet again!